April 25, 2008
This is why I love this place. Not a soul in sight. Of course, this wouldn’t hold true in July or August, but today? Today there was not another soul on the beach.
Though the air had turned cold and damp, we walked back down to the beach tonight after dinner. GP wanted to see if the holes he dug this morning had been washed away by the surf. I was surprised to see the sand was littered with a long trail of seaweed. This morning, the water was crystal clear and the beach was clean. Nothing but a few rocks and broken shells washed up by the waves.
I can’t stand on a beach without thinking of my dad. I remember how he taught me to dive under the waves. I was probably around my son’s age at the time. A little nervous, a little brave—wanting my dad to be proud.
I can’t remember the last time I dove in. The Atlantic was stone cold today. Like newly melted ice. I swam in this ocean exactly one time in 20 years. I jumped off a pier in Jamestown one August day a long time ago—just because I could.
I wonder if my son will ever swim in the ocean. Or learn to count the waves and read the tide. I wonder if he will ever sit on top of a surfboard, paddle out beyond the break or do something—anything—just because he can.
My son never knew my father. But I wonder what he would have thought. I wonder what they would have done together—given the chance—for one long endless summer on the shore.
April 26, 2008 at 8:17 am
I am sure they would have had a blissful time together…and your dad would have been proud of you all over again for raising such a fine and beautiful spirit. I feel the ache of longing in your words today. The pull of “what if” and “if only” like the ocean current is haunting, mysterious, and strong, yes?
April 26, 2008 at 10:22 am
so lovely. it sounds like a heavenly time there. the beach brings me to so many of my own childhood memories.
April 26, 2008 at 8:16 pm
What a great picture! I love the beach. I have never dove in the ocean. Sounds wonderful!
April 26, 2008 at 9:22 pm
Yes, the longing reverbrates. The push and pull of the tide, of memories, of family near and far? One of my sisters has a new baby, a little girl who will be lucky enough to spend many, many sun-soaked days near the ocean. She’ll be the envy of her cousins…and at least one aunt.
Hugs from land-locked Denver, K.
April 27, 2008 at 9:24 pm
Your father would love GP. I’m sorry you never got to see them together, although perhaps you see shades of your father in your son?
That looks like a gorgeous spot.
April 27, 2008 at 10:45 pm
Sometimes I really do think we were separated at birth. My husband and son never knew my mom, and it’s one of my great regrets. I often wonder what she would think of my life now.
The beach is a good place to heal. So glad you had this time.
April 28, 2008 at 2:02 pm
Simply beautiful.